Ghost of Us
by Mustacigay
Summary: Set after 'Smoked'. Right after Elliot leaves.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Law & Order: SVU or it's characters, but I do own the storyline.

**A/N:** Inspiration - Greg Laswell's Ghost. I'm good at making Elliot an asshole. Don't worry, he'll be back.

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><p><em>It was hard to believe what happened here a few nights ago. All of the fatality that happened. The whole squad knew that they would never be the same, it was just a matter of time before someone let their job go because of it.<em>

_Olivia had no reason to suspect that it would be Elliot. No one did._

_If anything, it would have been some rookie cop that just joined the force. But Detective Elliot Stabler?_

_The thoughts tangled up in her mind as she walked into work those few days ago. All of his stuff was gone. No letter. No call. Nothing._

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><p>Her breathing was hard as she looked over to his desk. A partner she had known for twelve years. A man she had trusted with her life had vanished just as fast as he came into it. She dreamt of this day but she never thought of it really happening. Especially not now.<p>

"Hey.. El", her voice sounded so foreign to herself, like she to, had become a stranger. Without him, she had no idea who she was anymore. A part of her felt like that was what he wanted. He wanted her to need her.

The detective trailed her fingers alongside his desk, as if she were tracing the lines on his face. She had forgotten all together why she had called him. Well, she knew why but he was married and it that case, in all cases, she meant nothing.

"… you left so quickly this morning", her voice different, unaware of the changes just yet.

"…I didn't even get to see you.. Before you had gone." Elliot had made her into the woman she never knew she could be. She hated him for that. For needing him.

The seconds that passed felt like minutes as she waited for the message to cut her off, telling her that her heart wasn't saying enough in the given time. Telling her that she should have done this years ago.

When the message finally did cut itself off, she pressed 'one' that indicated her to start over but instead her hung up right away. She was an embarrassment and there was nothing left that needed to be said.

If he could forget her so quickly, then she could move on. That was until she saw a shadow in the distance.

She tucked her hand away that was still on his desk, looking up to see if it was Cragen telling her to go home and that she worked to hard but instead, it was a different face.

"I always had a feeling you wanted that desk", the voice said, emerging itself to torture the brunette in what could have been. All of the twelve years were rushing back to her. All of the moments she had the chance. All of those late nights that could have been used to her advantage.

The former veteran of the Special Victims Unit made his way over to her, watching as her body put up the same guard it had when they first met. It was like they didn't know each other anymore. They were ghosts of their formal selves, force to be mixed in with the reality of the situation.

"You left a few things. I put them in a box over there", she said pointing, cold. Her heart was in the bottom and she wondered if he could feel in underneath all the devastation he had caused with her emotions.

She turned to look at him but he wasn't looking at the box of his things, he was looking at her. His blue eyes set fire to her heart, wishing that they didn't. Wishing that she could give up on everything that he had the moment he left. She wanted to ask him what he was doing there exactly, but she knew better.

The black leather jacket he was wearing clung to his shoulders as he moved closer, his feet padding against the floor as he made his way to her. His hands pressed against her sides, pulling her athletic frame to sit against the top of his old desk. He moved quick but with grace.

Olivia caught his gaze, knowing that he wanted her but she didn't know what she wanted anymore. He would be gone for good tomorrow and this wasn't what she wanted. Being left on her own happened far too often then it should have.

She was close to his neck but the detective didn't know how to let it out. The last part of him was leaving but the rest of him had already left. She wanted to whisper 'I love you', but that would do no good.

A strong hand cupped the back of her neck, causing her to whimper as he pulled her to him. Had she waited to long? Had she wanted this to happen right now, like this? Her body wanted him but her head certainly didn't. She didn't need another man to leave her again and after all these years she was scared that she had driven Elliot away.

At this moment, she needed Elliot to know how she felt. She needed to know that she loved him after all of these years. She didn't think it would cause him to stay, nor was she hoping on it but she needed this for herself. She needed closure and wouldn't get that until they were finally finished.

She clung to his jacket with both hands as his mouth pressed hungrily against hers. Her grip pulled it off quickly, letting it drop hard. She knew this was wrong and that he was married with kids but the brunette was allowed to be selfish every now and again, wasn't she?

Olivia wrapped her legs around his body, pulling him closer to her as he moved his fingers through her hair, gripping it as she was his possession and she didn't argue. Elliot pulled his mouth away and reached for the buckle on his pants. Olivia nodded her head 'no' and moved her hands to unbuckle and unzip him.

Talking wasn't needed. It was just the two of them in this one moment. This wasn't like Elliot but this also wasn't like Olivia. They were different, like they were playing the role of lovers who never got their shot. They were being who they always wanted to be.

Her gaze looked upward towards Elliot as she let go of his pants, hearing the drop making her bit her lip with a smirk. Elliot's mouth instantly pressed against her neck as she took him in her hands, stroking him slow and hard. The intensity of this moment was hard and raw. It was what they needed. All of their fights were coming to the surface after all of these years.

His lips nipped at her neck, biting softly but making sure he left a little red mark so she would remember what happened the night before. His hands worked at her pants, unbuttoning them and lifting her body to let them slide down. She groaned with want, her body aching for him to be inside of her. They had waited long enough.

His blue gaze looked her over as he demanded she get on her knees. Something changed inside of him. His eyes looked detached.

She dropped her legs and kicked off her shoes, pulling him to her but he had other plans. He tugged at her shirt, pulling it over her head as he grabbed the clasp of the bra, undoing it with ease and pushing it to the floor.

"Stabler, what th-", she started, but was stopped by another set of lips she had been begging to taste for twelve long years. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight as she felt him press into her hard.

"Fuck, Elliot." She always knew he was big, she just never knew _how_ big.

The brunette spread her legs further apart as she felt Elliot's mouth take her left breast, causing her to moan when she felt his tongue run over the nipple. "Ooo Elliot", she groaned. He must have liked that because he thrusted faster, biting at the delicate skin.

He pulled her off of the desk and turned her around, making it so she was bent over at he slowly moved into her. Her body still getting used to him.

She moaned loudly when she felt him dive into her, not even making sure if she was ready for him. She had so many questions, wanted to stop him and tell him that she wanted to look at him. That she wanted love with the older man.

Love was a stupid thing that she knew she would never get. Especially from Elliot.

Elliot reached one hand to squeeze her breast. Her hands pressed against the sides of his desk, gripping it as she felt him thrust deeper into her as she threw her head back. Her anticipation had grown for twelve years.

This was exactly what she needed.

Elliot watched as the younger woman braced herself was what to come in this moment. He was selfish with her emotions, even now. He grunted as he made way deeper inside of her, making sure he left his mark before he left.

She felt just like he had imagined. Perfect.

"I'm so close", she groaned loudly as she played with her clit.

Turning around, Olivia got back up on the desk and moved her legs to wrap against him, pulling him hard to her as their mouths met in a frenzy. She bit his bottom lip graciously, begging for entrance. When she got what she needed, she pushed her tongue through and battled his. Her moaning came as it pleased which made Elliot pound into her harder.

He watched as her eyes closed and her forehead wrinkled like she was concentrating. Her mouth opened to get out a few moans, her hands moving to Elliot's back as she clung at him. Elliot moved his fingers to press against her clit, rubbing it fast and hard as she called out his name.

Her moans echoing throughout the precinct. "God Elliot, fuck me just like that". The brunette moved her hips with his, focusing on herself and how close he had gotten her to cuming. "Oh yeah, baby. God, you're so big." She was so wet and so aggravated that he had even thought about making her get on her knees.

"Come on, Stabler", she said moving her body close, her hips moving fast. "… fuck me like a real man."

That must have done something because he moved fast and hard into her, letting her drip all over him.

She groaned into his neck, her eyes tightly closed as she bit into his soft skin as she shuddered against him as she continued to rub and thrust hard into her. Her breathing was hard as she opened her eyes, her body easing itself down from the orgasm.

This wasn't about Elliot and when he pulled away, she knew that. Her body was limp as she slid her body off of the counter. He already had his pants on when she reached down for hers. Sliding them on slowly, she watched as she grabbed the box of his belongings.

The ex detective moved slowly, gracefully across the floor as she watched Elliot come up to her and kiss her softly on the mouth. The brunette was confused and sad that it was over. She knew that once he walked out that door, he wasn't coming back.

That left her terrified.

"See you soon then?", he muttered.

She shook her head 'no' and watched him sigh. That's what he got. Her heart was done.

It was as if to him, she still meant like nothing.

Olivia waited until he left before she realized that his jacket was on the floor and threw it in the trash. It was quiet and she was empty as she sat back down to her desk, looking at all of the pictures.. The memories that the two had shared over their many years of partnership.

The first picture was of them at their first detective softball game. Their team had won because Elliot hit the last home run and she couldn't have been more proud. At the time.

Her fingers grazed over the sides of the frame as she stood up and smashed it against the wall, leaving an indent on the wall like he had left on her heart.

The detective wanted to start crying right then but her phone buzzed, meaning that her job came first, like it always did. Taking it out of her pocket, she steadied her voice as she read the name._ Brian Cassidy_.

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><p><strong>AN:** Most of you are hating this chapter. Oh well. It had to be done. Review for the next one?


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